I'm talking about my life and my future.

I'm definitely getting dumber.
I can't write papers like I used to. I can't communicate like I used to. I freeze up whenever I have to talk in class.
I think I'm going to unplug my tv for a week and play hacky sack, read, do homework, or bike ride in its place.

Last night I dreamt about donuts and the housekeepers at the hotel.
Today my manager brought in donuts for everyone.
Whaaaaaaaaat??? I was really weirded out when I put those two things together.

100 years from now will people have the ability to read their subconscious thoughts well enough to decipher what could potentially happen in real life?

For the past three days it has felt like there's something poking the very beginning of my throat. Sometimes it hurts so bad it makes my right ear ache. I can feel it when I talk, swallow, move my tongue. Sometimes it goes away, but it always comes back. I usually can work through pain pretty easily. Headaches don't even phase me. It's just, the fact that I have to talk to people all day and then this dumb scratching at my throat....uhg it's really annoying.

I've decided to apply to UNM up in Albuquerque. After spring break I'm going to find out if I'll get enough financial aid to not be broke after 4 semesters. If I won't get enough I might consider national guard. It kinda makes sense because the base is right up there in the city and it would only be one weekend a month.

I went out on a biking exploration adventure into the desert today and then rode home into the sunset.
I love not having school.

oh yeah, Slumdog Millionaire was awesome. I want to see it again. The Wrestler's downfall was the horrible 80's soundtrack. Other than that it was ok.


lol wingdings monster

Life changing~

In news relevant to now: I really wish I could figure out my zig-zag stitch on the darn sewing machine.

In news relevant to 3 months from now: LM.C IS GOING TO BE AT A-KON 20! EPIC WIN!!

I can never decide if I like the Foo Fighters or not :/

In all actuality I really want to take a math class just so that I can have a class in which I can do book work and not essays.
I've been feeling stressed out lately. I've gotten so disorganized. It must be that time of the semester where I either get it back together and finish well or just stop caring. I've never had such terrible urges to skip classes in my entire life. :( I used to be really good at school.
Something is changing. something, something. Something...
maybe it's just my taste it music

All I wanna do is ride my horse and sit in the back seat of my car and draw, ya know?

There's nothing like a bad day to make you feel like being done with school, professionally. I figure that when I finally decide what to do with my life it will end up literally smacking me across the face. I hope it happens soon because this whole different major every semester is getting old.

I keep telling myself not to go to the mailbox
and so far my patience has held on.
But my mind keeps running across the street
and turning the key.
I wouldn't call myself obsessive.
I just really want to know how to think.
I've put my thoughts on hold
And on hold they'll stay
Until I see
a letter addressed to me.


I know there are a lot of people who hate Valentines Day, but I always thought it was kinda cute. Although, I do prefer watching rather than participating.

The other night I had an extremely vivid and bizarre dream.

I definitely don't think that I'd be able to retell it. Some elements of the dream included:
I was on the street next to mine. For some reason there were a bunch of army troops around. They weren't the friendly looking kind either. I think the street was being turned into some kind of base... and then something happened which made them force all of the hispanic and asian troops to the edge of the street. Then an explosion went off which made the end of the street collapse and another explosion went off when all the hispanics and asian fell in and made all of their bodies explode. I vividly recall thinking they all looked like squished blackberries and raspberries. And then I threw a fit and began yelling at the troops asking why they did that. They all just kinda looked at me like I was crazy.
Another part of my dream...I was in an old house. I'm pretty sure that I've been to the same old house in previous dreams. I think it's a house that my Grandparents own, in dreamworld of course. I remember finding all these new rooms in the house and crawling around dusty boxes all around. It kinda reminded me of a well lit attic. It was fascinating, but kinda disturbing at the same time because I have a feeling that I was trying to get away from something.

On a completely different subject:
my mom let my little sister stay home from school again today. I'm guessing she told my mom that she wasn't feeling well, when in actuality she had so much sex last night she was too sore to move.